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memos to baby jesus

Tuesday, October 12, 2004


To: Jesus
From: Katie Savage
Subject: Last Weekend


Dear Jesus,

You will forgive me, right?





To: Katie
From: You Know Who
Subject: Last Weekend


It was quite the performance, no doubt. But I've got to think on this some more.

Monday, June 28, 2004


To: J
From:Katie XOX
Subject: Hello J, are you out there?


Jesus,

If you're wondering why people don't memo you more often, I think it's cuz you just don't answer us enough. What's keeping you so busy up there anyway?

A-wanna-believer

To: AWB
From:Mister J
Subject: Hello J, are you out there?


Yeah, uh, sorry about that. Even here, the servers get backed up.

Wednesday, June 16, 2004


To: Baby Jesus
From: Julie W.
Subject: Cool Down


could you tell the fundamentalists to chill? i mean you dont' have to but i'd appreciate it.


Wednesday, June 09, 2004


To: Baby Jesus
From:C Hardin
Subject: Smiting request


Is there anyway you can smite the program director at ESPN? I mean a spelling bee? Dont you think they torture us enough with table tennis, and poker?

Friday, June 04, 2004


To: Baby Jesus
From: R. Reed
Subject: How Ya Been?


How'ya been? What's it been 2000 years?!? What ever happened to those 12 dudes you used to hang out with? I can only remember 4 of them. And your old neighborhood has turned ghetto... I won't even go over there anymore. Oh yeah, after you "left", Mary M went back to her old ways. Anyway, hope all is well, sorry about the sinning.

Friday, May 28, 2004


To: Jesus
From: Kristen W.
Subject: delayed


Dear Jesus.

I distinctly remember ..a number of years ago..you giving me the dream of flying.
Now,,when i awoke..i asked you to make this happen in my "real life"
so i was just wondering..when do i get to take off??

P.S you can just msn me..when you get the time.
kiss, kiss.

Tuesday, April 27, 2004


To: Baby Jesus
From: Lauren R
CC: Father Time
Subject: Time Management


I know you probably get this all the time, and I hate to be a pest, but can you please explain exactly why we can't get an 18-hour day?

Just wondering.

Wednesday, April 07, 2004


To: Baby Jesus
From: Notta NuYorker
CC: Mayor Bloomberg
Subject: Real Estate


Do you know how I can get affordable housing in New York?



To: Notta
From: Baby Jesus, Mayor Bloomberg
Subject: Real Estate


Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.


Tuesday, March 30, 2004


To: Baby J
From: Meebs
CC: Mother Nature
Subject: Spring has Sprung....or has it?


Hi Baby J!

Just wondering if you got the memo that Spring started last Saturday? That would include Chicago as well, however, I think we may be getting the short end of the stick here. Maybe it accidentally got attached to the memo about the TPS reports and you didn't actually see it. If you'd go ahead and let me know if you need another one, that would be um, greeeeeeaaaaaat.

Meebs

Friday, March 05, 2004


To: Baby J
From: No-neck
CC: Vishnu
Subject: The Gym


So, like....how much can you bench?

Wednesday, March 03, 2004


To: Baby Jesus
From: Love The Whip
Subject: Yo


Dear Baby Jesus

Thank you for enlightening the fine fine god fearing folks at Yoplait.

I ::heart:: lemon meringue Whipped yogurt.

Signed:
love the whip



To: Baby J
From: Concerned Citizen
CC: Allah, God, Vishnu, Zeus and gang
Subject: Hey Baby J


Baby J,

I was wondering if you ever see Buddha around? Cuz if you do, can you tell him we need him down here?


Tuesday, February 17, 2004


To: Baby Jesus
From: J. Martinez
CC: God, Cupid
Subject: Love


When's the rulebook on this thing come out again? Cause right now, it's like a damn rugby scrum out there...

Thursday, February 12, 2004


To: Baby Jesus
From: Heather
CC:
Subject: Life


Dude, I give up.

Tuesday, February 10, 2004


To: Baby Jesus
From: Random Guy on the Street
CC: Casting Director, God, Whomever
Subject: Extras


Dear Baby Jesus,

I saw the same woman three times today on my way home and she was never on the same bus or train with me. Please tell me You're not getting bored with making new people? Because it sure felt like You just used the same extra 3 different times in my life.

Archives

01/25/2004 - 02/01/2004   02/01/2004 - 02/08/2004   02/08/2004 - 02/15/2004   02/15/2004 - 02/22/2004   02/29/2004 - 03/07/2004   03/28/2004 - 04/04/2004   04/04/2004 - 04/11/2004   04/25/2004 - 05/02/2004   05/23/2004 - 05/30/2004   05/30/2004 - 06/06/2004   06/06/2004 - 06/13/2004   06/13/2004 - 06/20/2004   06/27/2004 - 07/04/2004   10/10/2004 - 10/17/2004  

From Your Lips to His Ears (e-mail Baby Jesus)

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